DON'T WEAR YOUR DRAWERS TO TOWN

Tune: Don't Take Your Guns to Town, by J. R. Cash
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                    A young JD named Sammy Grant
                    Grew restless in the 'burbs
                    A boy who wanted many things
                   Including "special" herbs
                    He changed his clothes and spiked his hair
                    And let his shirt hang down
                    But his mother called from the sewing room:

                    "Don't wear your drawers to town, son
                    Leave your drawers at home, Sam
                    Don't wear your drawers to town."

                    He sang as he drove into town,
                    He was feelin' might pleased
                    For underneath his Levis he
                    Wore Reynolds' BVDs
                    He stopped along the Interstate, his longjohns sagging down
                    But his mother's words echoed again:
 
                    "Don't wear your drawers to town, son
                    Leave your drawers at home, Sam
                    Don't wear your drawers to town."

                    He strolled into a shopping mall to lift some great CDs
                    And find some brand new running shoes, young Brenda Snope to please
                    He saw the cashier smile at him, her eyes were deep and brown,
                    And he heard again his mother's words;

                    "Don't wear your drawers to town, son
                    Leave your drawers at home, Sam
                    Don't wear your drawers to town."

                    Now Sammy he was strangely stirred, the lass was young and firm.
                    His blood began to heat within, and his loins began to squirm
                    His swelling boyhood tore through the foil, with a loud and crinkling sound
                    And he heard again his mothers words:

                    "Don't wear your drawers to town, son
                    Leave your drawers at home, Sam
                    Don't wear your drawers to town."

                    The comely cashier pushed a bell as toward her he did stray;
                    She heard the rustle in his jeans of tinfoil giving way!
                    And though he flashed his bestest smile, she gave him a cold frown;
                     But still he wished he'd heeded Mom:

                    "Don't wear your drawers to town, son
                    Leave your drawers at home, Sam
                    Don't wear your drawers to town."

                    His dreams of lust came tumbling , and he turned with wild alarm,
                    As  store detective Devereaux up and took him by the arm!
                    His dreams and his ambitions 'foiled', his tool and head hung down,
                    He realized what his mother meant:

                    "Don't wear your drawers to town, son
                    Leave your drawers at home, Sam
                    Don't wear your drawers to town."