"Help Desk, what appears to be the problem?"

"Ah, I'm having a little problem with Microsfoft Word."

"And the nature of this problem, Sir?

"I've just written another novel and I can't get the text to justify..."

"....is it full justification you're after, Mister....er?"

"Not Mister - Lord. It's Lord Archer, Jeffrey Archer. I'm quite well known in writing circ...."

"I'm sorry, Sir. There's nothing that can justify another Jeffrey Archer novel. Goodbye."