"Help Desk, what appears to be the problem?"
"Ah, I'm having a little problem with Microsfoft Word."
"And the nature of this problem, Sir?
"I've just written another novel and I can't get the text to justify..."
"....is it full justification you're after, Mister....er?"
"Not Mister - Lord. It's Lord Archer, Jeffrey Archer. I'm quite well known in writing circ...."
"I'm sorry, Sir. There's nothing> that can justify another Jeffrey Archer novel. Goodbye."