Subject: RE: Ani DiFranco Song Censored on Letterman? From: GUEST Date: 20-Jul-01 - 05:29 PMJack the Sailor,
As to cliche ridden, I would cite pretty much the entire first stanza. Painfully so, to my poetic sensibilities. If the first stanza is cliche ridden to you, your circles of conversation are far different from mine. I've NEVER heard mainstreet compared to the Berlin Wall. or really any of the similies except for the mouse thing which is at least a little different from "a night before christmas" the big obvious rhyme with house is veiled at least.
A good lyric paints an image that is clearly identifiable and sustainable throughout the entire piece.
It does? that is a rule?
She loses her lyric image of decaying inner city/white flight when she shifts the sentiment to a homeless person lying on the street. That stanza shifts the emotional image/listeners attention to homelessness, rather than sticking with the imagery of decaying inner city/white flight to the 'burbs.
I believe that you missed her point entirely here. In speaking of the homeless person. She is saying that she, like the rest of us has learned to igore societies problems and now "walk on by" when we sould be taking action.
A good lyric poem has *one* image/sentiment to be effective. The third stanza doesn't belong in this song.
I don't think "a good lyric poem" is what she is aiming for here. She spends the first stanza painting pictures of what she thinks is wrong then spends the rest of the song preaching at us that we should do something lest America become one big subdivision"
The ending is much stronger than the beginning, and if it was my piece, I'd cut the first and third stanzas, start with stanza 2, and move on. One might be able to salvage some of the ideas of the first stanza to extend the song, but with stanzas 2,4 & 5, with some nice bridge work and a more defined chorus, this could be a fantastic song.
How do I know how she writes? Well, of course I don't know absolutely.
I'm basing my opinion on the results, on a fairly extensive interview I heard with Ani on the radio about her writing process, and anecdotes of a friend of mine, who had the honor of putting Ani up many years ago, while she was at college--in the early Ani days. They had a long "writers conversation" over the dinner table after the gig I heard of second hand.
Do you feel that qualifies you to make some of the criticisms that you have? I would like to value your opinion as much as Ms. DiFranco's. Obviously she values this song enough to fight for it. I doubt that she would call it hastily and recklessly written. You say that her writing is too hasty and reckless, yet you say that you like her songs. She has credentials. You do not even have a name. Very curious....