That's nowt. More years ago than I care to remember while working as a psychiatric nurse, one of our patients managed to insert a tin which used to contain Largactil tablets sideways up his rectum. The tin was about three inches high and about two inches in diameter. The removal necessitated surgery at the local general hospital. Also on the subject of bottoms - try this story which at one time did the rounds of all the hospitals. A newly appointed doctor was being shown around one of his wards in a psychiatric hospital by the nurse in charge. Looking out of the window he saw one of the patients walking around the airing court with his right hand pressed firmly on his backside. The doctor asked the nurse what was the patient's problem and was told that he had the delusion that that there was a bee in his bum. "I'll cure him", said the doctor. He saw the patient and told him that he had arranged for him to have an operation to remove the troublesome bee. In due course the patient was taken to the operating theatre and given an anaestethic. When he came around thd doctor told him that the bee had now been removed and should cause him no more trouble. A few days later the doctor had cause to visit the ward again and saw the patient once more walking around with his hand as before. Calling him over the doctor asked him what was now the problem as the bee had been removed. The patient replied, "Doctor, if you had a bee up your ass for twenty years, you'd want to make bloody sure that another one wouldn't fly up there." Collapse of doctor