"Hey, don't make a scene, eh?" advises Bob.

"I thought the bear ate this guy, eh?" says Doug, indicating Shane.

Shane and Don begin to recover a little. Shane is apologizing all over himself about the eggs, and Don is asking for an autograph.

"You guys are, like, living legends, eh?" he gushes. "You're the flippin' McKenzie Brothers!"

"Well, I guess...so, like, who are you?" retorts Doug.

Shane pulls himself together and announces with some pride: "I am Blind DRunk in Blind River, man!"

"I hate to tell you this, hoser, but this ain't Blind River," says Bob, opening a beer.

"That's my internet name, man! Blind DRunk in Blind River. I am the most famous hoser on the whole flippin' Net, man...well, except for you and Doug, that is..."

"Yeah?" says Doug. "How many beers can you chug?"

"Enough to put you under!" retorts Shane. "Try me!"

"You're on! How about Canadian, eh?"

"Suits me. Line em up!"

"We should do the 99 Bottles," says Don.

"Beauty, eh?" says Bob. "99 bottles it is!"

The bear completely forgotten in the heat of the action, the 4 lads gather around a massive stack of Molson Canadian.

"Crack the first one!" commands Doug. Pop! Four caps fly in the air.

"Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, ninety-nine bottles of beer...take one down (chug!), pass it around (chug!)...ninety-eight bottles of beer on the wall"

4 voices ring out lustily, verse after verse, as the boys forge steadily into the slowly diminishing mountain of beer bottles. A pile of caps is slowly rising to shin level on the floor. The song goes on and on, increasingly tuneless, increasingly ragged, but still unmistakeable in its relentless repetition.

The girl in the Atherley Arms T-shirt groans and leaves the room.

Johnny Death thinks fondly of his shotgun, which is sitting at home in the closet.

Gordon goes outside to check the dumpster.

Chicago is still flat and ugly.