Ok, I couldn't resist tossing another log on the fire... Here's my cornballish take on the subject, 20 minutes and lots of bad rhymes. Enjoy!

Metal Liner (To the tune of "Jet Airliner")

Stealin' things, sure can be fun
Don't tell me it's wrong,
Hidin' it all in my fruit of the looms,
I've been stealin' it for so long

And security seemed so far away
But they caught me when I tried to run
Don't want to go back to jail again
So I've found a new way that it's done,

CHORUS
Oh, Underwear's metal liner
Won't let me get caught with the goods
Oh, Underwear's metal liner
Makes it hurt when I get wood

Goodbye to my testosterone
Goodbye to women who've lusted
I kept this foil on my boys too long
Ain't no use for a penis that's rusted
But my crotch is filled with goodies
that I stole from the mall, like this sweater
Tomorrow night, I got some shoes in my sights,
Sometimes your scrotum goes thru hell just to get some leather

CHORUS

Walkin round, scopin out
More things I wanna steal
I lined my drawers with more tin foil
And now I've Got a rash that don't wanna heal
And even though it saves me money
You know it hurts so bad that it's a real pity
And I don't-want-this-foil-wedged-up between my
Pair o' cheeks, I need drawers that'll fit me

CHORUS, REPEAT, FADE