The Devious' Dictionary

agent n. Formally a gentleman. Now this has devolved, in common parlance, to be a person who lies for you then duffs you up 10 years later. Somewhat like a teddy boy but without the oath.

archereeze a. The style in which an entire fantasy is presented as fiction in order to earn stupendous dollops of wealth.

archerooze a. The style in which an entire fantasy is presented as fact in order to earn stupendous dollops of wealth.

coughlan n A person so unlucky, that when a piece of good luck materializes and is converted in to better luck it brings the whole sewer pipe down on them and anyone writing down their very words at the time. The words would have been unrecognisable when published anyway but the clean-up operation is very slow. Named for Monica Coughlan, a person so unlucky as to be mown down by a criminal's getaway car being chased by the police, just as the public vindication of her story was blossoming.

diary entry n. Whatever you want it to be. Full of shit. (corruption of diarrhoea and treats)

frank a. Mealy mouthed, avoiding lying by telling just enough of the truth. Familiar shortening of the phrase "doing a Francis".

fund raising v. Smarmy sycophantasizing, with occasional visits to the car park.

hairy mary a. 1 Stock exchange term, for insider share dealing, at two removes. Not especially risky or illegal unless accompanied by incontrovertable evidence. 2 Normal practice.

lie n. Truth incarnate. v. To swear on oath

making a meal of it vi. To consort with a whore. n. A dinner with a trusted friend. nv. Both at the same time.

monica n. A casual sex partner who must be kept hidden. A secret co-respondant. (some sources give an American origin for this word c 1995 but it is definitely older than that)

notapenney a. Swinging, excessive, as much as the victim can give. This is an archerooze back-formation of "not a penny more, not a penny less" (a popular trashy novel – apparently).

pressing the flesh v. In a political context, shaking hands while screwing the pressee. More generally, shaking the body while screwing in a car park during a fund raising party.

secretary n A diarist. See diary entry.

star turn vt. To change the evidence prior going into the witness box.

teddy boy n. A man who lies on oath for you then duffs you up 10 years later. See agent.

truth n. Archaic. Now reserved for use by the lower orders (and some politicians – alledgedly).