Dearest Madam:

The Board of Directors and Council of Bishops of the Unified International Temple of the Golden Globes has forwarded your recent letter of complaint to me. I want you to know that your support is very important to those of us who lead this fledgling religion. We further believe that your points are both well made, and given the opportunity, would be exceedingly well taken. We appreciate, too, the aureola of dignity and righteousness with which you surround them, and believe that your sensitivity to our approach qualifies you for further extensive dialogue on same.

The TGG does not condone the random search for "breast threads" as we feel it would unravel the underpinnings of some of our most important work, as well as distract our aspirants from the appropriate reflections on which their salivation depends. We feel it is of tantamount importance that we focus our attentions on our dual objectives at every curve in the path toward our fulfillment. We believe that to spread the milk of human kindness to all mankind is a goal which should involve the attention of the entire globe. As the great Bard once said, "let us not to the marriage in true minds admit impediment". We feel that our aspirants are striving to acheive the clear vision of which the poet wrote, and that the pursuit of breast threads would be tantamount to engaging in a struggle with an obstacle which should be more deftly undone. It is to this end that we train our advanced practitioners in 'ESD' (Extended Sensitivity and Dexterity) exercises at our major Mammary Worship Centers.

We cannot thank you enough for the well-formed enhancements to our vision which you have exposed to us, and we hope to see more of them in future encounters. Our Director of Services wishes me to add that you might enjoy learning more about our group by attending one of our introductory "Laying on of Hands" courses.

Yours in a common vision of "an open hand and an overflowing cup for all",

Reverend (Right Palm) Brother Etoile des Poignees,
Director of Sensitive Relationships and Manual Reviews