I fully agree that any singable translation is very hard to do. You can't translate all the allusions and plays with the language or the cultural background. But you can try to do justice to the original song and to recreate it in another language. There have been several examples in Mudcat of really good translations (of e.g. Brassens songs) and your translation is another perfect example for a really good translation.
Thanks for the link to 'My way' as another bad example. I hadn't opened that thread I only had wondered why a simple request for simple lyrics was getting so many posts and thought it must be the BS crowd kidnapping a thread. I was wrong.