Mary Garvey,

Molly-coddle? What do you mean by that? To me it assumes that I, or someone else, has some sort of parental, supervisory power over this person, and that we are tolerating unacceptable behavior and that we should put our foot down--no one is in a position to do that with any adult, and especially not with someone that they have a professional relationship.

We have worked together, on the same effort, for a couple of years. Her work has been the most important factor in our team accomplishing what it has-- and working with us is one of her responsibilities, but not the only one. Other people who have had her same role in the past have done a lot less, so part of the reason that I care so much about this is that she has put herself on the line for us on many occasions.

If I overstep, not could she close the door on our friendship, but she could cut back her work with us, she could even remove herself entirely from our project, and our efforts fall apart, there will be considerable suffering and hardship, and it will affect many people.