Christmas where the gum trees grow, there is no frost and there is no snoooow... different time zones...sense of humour?
Here's one From Don Henderson (the boy from Moonee Ponds) 'round 19&70... works well as a talking blues.

I was walking late last night.
It was half past four and nearly light.
A man came up and grabbed my shirt,
Pulled my beard 'til it hurt,
Hit me once and then again,
Said, "Peace on earth, goodwill to men."

I went down to St. Vincent's,
Rang the bell in outpatients.
The sister looked up in dismay,
Said, "Third beatnik we've had today."
Took me up a passage and through some doors,
Said, "Are these two friends of yours?"

One of them was a nice old chap
In red pyjamas and a red nightcap,
Silver whiskers on his chin.
I said, "You look like Tom O'Flynn."
"That is true," he said, "but he
Is also said to look like me."

The other bloke of which I speak
Was some kind of Wop, Yid, Spag or Greek.
Had no shoes upon his feet,
And was wearing just a worn-out sheet.
I asked him why he was dressed like that.
He said, "Mix up at the Laundromat?"

I asked him just what he was here for.
He answered me that he wasn't sure.
I said, "Are you sick?" He said, "Nup,
I'm not sick; I'm just hung up."
I looked for the scars where the nails went through.
He said, "I'm only 32."

I asked him what he did for a crust.
He said, "None of your business, but if you must,
I'm saving the world." I said, "Oh.
How is business?" He said, "Slow."
A doctor came and took him away.
I said, "See ya, mate, and happy birthday."

Whew!
Fond regards (not the Xmas album, please! not that recorrrdddd!) davo

HTML line breaks added. --JoeClone, 30-Nov-02.