It took me quite a few days to bring myself to commit the blasphemy of writing a parody of a Joni Mitchell song (Whaddaya call that? An "un-original sin"?). But I have finally wrestled the angel of my better nature to the ground...


TIN HANES, Y'ALL
(Tune: "Tin Angel" by Joni Mitchell)
Pronunciation guide: Macy's = "may-SEES" (I cheated a bit, there)

Vanished, freed from window-bars:
Man-wished, greed-grown crap I seize.
Kept in rattlin' boxers are
Recession's much-loved luxuries:

Dead furs from a cross Macy's,
Clothes I stripped from T.J. Maxx,
Walden's spines and Staples' sheaves,
Tucked into a hinder-crack.

Guess I'll stow them all away
Right down some undies of blue-gray.


Dark with darker foods these be,
Rotted, old, unrinsed, used some,
Blue foil combined with stitchery
To walk in, crackling, tin by bum.

Steeled, I'll take, stuff pants, and flee!
I found some undies of blue-gray.


Dare not borrow them, 'cause I
Like the Hanes y'all made of tin.
What will stop them if I try
To put a whole Wal-Mart in them?

With my cheeks, how sweet can play
The sound: some undies of blue-gray. [crinkle crinkle]
I found some undies of blue-gray. [crinkle crinkle crinkle]