'Spaw, maybe this version of Yellow Rose is lamentable enough for you? (it's by Allan Sherman)

Oh, I'm Melvin Rose of Texas
And my friends all call me Tex
When I lived in old New Mexico
They used to call me Mex
When I lived in old Kentucky
They called me Old Kentuck
I was born in old Shamokin
Which is why they call me Melvin.....Rose

Aloha,
Mark

(Explanation available for the culturally challenged)