And the eyes of a Ranger are upon you,
Anywhere you go he'll always see,
If you're in Texas look behind you,
That's where the Ranger's going to be.

For uninitiated folks outside of the U.S. that is the theme song from "Walker, Texas Ranger". The show's star, Chuck Norris actually had the nerve to kind of sing it. It has to be very near the bottom of the pile, IMO.

I am frustrated, because since that show began, I've never been able to decide which is worse- the song or the show. This implies that I have actually watched the show at times. I'm afraid I must admit it. Please be kind. I have now developed a Pavlovian response to reach for the remote control whenever I hear the words: "In the eyes of a Ranger"... Thanks, BlueJay