Too hard? C'mon, TGG -- this is a trick, right?

The Leader of the Granola Community

Tune: "Ruler of the Queen's Navy", G. S. Gilbert

When I was a lad I made a try,
At designing weapons that would shoot french fries
I'd raid the larder with a couple of friends,
But what made it harder is the fries would bend!
 

I raided mother's larder with a hand so deft
That now I am the pride of the Granola Left!
He raided mother's larder with a hand so deft
That now he is  the pride of the Granola Left!

Though my french-fry firing was a dud
I graduated quickly up to hard-boiled spuds
With a three-foot tube from plumbing stock
I was knocking off the pigeons on the village clock!

    I slaughtered all those pigeons with a bang so loud
    That now I am the pride of the Granola Crowd!
    He slaughtered all those pigeons with a bang so loud
    That now he is the pride of the Granola Crowd!

From shooting spuds I learned my style
And I got them elevated up to half-a-mile
Then I moved ahead, onto grander schemes
Pursuing all the dreams that a man can dream!
 

I followed my dreams with such alacrity
That now I am the head of the Granola Free!
He followed his dreams with such alacrity
That now he is  the head of the Granola Free!
 

As a grown man now I  have vanquished fear,
I intend to launch myself into the stratosphere
Though lesser mortals my demur,
My wife wants me to do it and I side with her!
 

With a cement tub as a space-capsule
I will be the highest star  in the Granola School!
With a cement tub as his space capsule
He will be the highest star in the Granola School!
 

So all you lads with a yen for fun,
Just take your inspiration from what i have done
Pursue your dreams, and build a name,
Never matter if it leaves your body wrapped in flames!
 

Pursue your visions, and you soon will be
The biggest nut of all on the Granola tree!
Pursue your visions ,and you soon will be
The biggest nut of all on the Granola tree!