Thanks, Sorcha. I was trying to say that, but couldn't find the words...

It's surprising how many people can't take on board the complexity of clinical depression, though people are a lot more aware than they used to be.

Doctors are in a difficult position, as no two people have symptoms that are exactly alike, so they have to use blanket terminology to lump people together who act and respond in a similar way.

This is why there is such a wide variety of treatments, some of whivh are chemical, some are counselling, and some are a mixture of both.

I believe that I've had depression-related problems from being a child - either that, or I just haven't grown up yet...

As to coping with something like her father in intensive care, the strange thing about depression is its 'ability' to switch itself in and out unpredictably. I find that very minor things, such as the shop having no bread left, can send me on a wild downward spiral, yet if my daughter rings in the middle of the night because she's worried about my baby grandson's temperature, I can react 'normally'.

Maybe 'focus' is an explanation. I rarely go to the Folk Club these days, unless there's a guest booked that needs our sound system. In that situation I find I can function 'normally', and even do the warm-up spot as well. Yet I can't be bothered otherwise. I can 'turn on the act' for a gig, although when I'm at home getting ready I'm thinking to myself 'I don't want to be doing this...'

It's got nothing to do with nerves - it's total apathy. Yet when I'm up on stage I go through the whole thing as if on auto-pilot. It's a strange 'out of body' experience, as if I'm one of the audience.

I've just been given a recording of a gig I did a couple of weeks ago. I thought it didn't go too well, but the recording tells me that I was on my best form - at least from the audience's point of view.

All rather weird, really...

Rest assured that her father going into intensive care has probably helped in the short term - it has taken her mind of her own predicament a little.

It works for me like that. One of our beloved catters (who has posted to this thread) went through a difficult time not too long ago, and I am proud to say that I was a positive help, both via email and telephone.

I was able to give this person a different angle on their problem, and give support when it was most needed.

Luckily, I now have someone doing the same for me - though I can be really exasperating at times!

The secret here is no hidden agenda - a 'safe' friend who isn't judgemental. They may have strong opinions, but they accept that you have, too. They don't try to make you see the error of your ways, but simply tell you what they might do in the same situation.

Hope this helps...