MY BATHING MACHINE
(Anon)

Such a wonder of wonders was never seen yet
I've a bath so delightful I'm going to let
The waters are brackish pure wholesome and clean
And a neat pleasant entrance to my Bathing Machine
  Old and young can use it
  None can refuse it
  To have it and use it
  My bathing Machine
Between pillars like marble as white as the snow
At the foot of a hill where streams sweetly flow
Surrounded with rushes so delightful is seen
And pleasant's the entrance to my Bathing Machine

'Twill cure all diseases, Rheumatic or Gout
Cramp or stiff joints it draws it clean out
My bath has such power when once you are in
You'll feel you're in Heaven in my Bathing Machine

Quakers and churchmen, no matter their sect
Lawyers and statesmen, my bath do select
They throw off their robe, and dive eager in
And paddle about in my Bathing Machine

Men week and feeble, some eighty years old
Will have a dive, tho' they're shivering with cold
Tho' the entrance is small, 'twas never yet seen
Men found at the bottom of my Bathing Machine

Some enter in stiff, merry and stout
But they're scare in a minute when they [tumble out?]
And some are so feeble, they can't enter in
But bob at the door of my bathing machine

A sly old Jew to me did repair
His face like a goat was all covered in hair
He cried 'Fatherh acob' [Father Jacob?], stroked his face with a grin
Queen Sheba ne'er had such a bathing machine

I oblige all my friends whenever they call
Blind, deaf or speechless, there's room for them all
Only one at a time, tho' there's room enough in
Is admitted to enter my bathing machine

A brave old veteran one day came to me
To enter my bath so eager was he
He put his firelock in order and boldly marched in
And fired away at my bathing machine

Fat light or heavy, no matter your weight
I'll taeh [take?] you all in if you're ever so great
If you are worn to a thread but once enter in
You will feel strong again in my bathing machine

Tune: A Man's a Man for all That
NHJ

Source: Bodleian Ballad Library My Bathing Machine