Nettle champ is a simple dish. First pluck the young leaves of stinging nettles - enough to fill a bucket. Boil them in milk for 15-20 minutes. Make sure they remain covered in milk at all times. At the same time boil a big saucepan full of spuds. When the spuds are cooked to perfection add the nettles and the milk in which the nettles have boiled and mash to a very fine consistency. Serve as a large dollop - make a "crater" in top of the dollop and lob in a huge knob of butter. (TIP : If you've not made nettle champ before, add the nettles to the spuds before adding the milk. Then add the milk a little at a time. The intention is to aim for a soft, NOT sloppy consistency! And make sure you BOIL the nettles. This denatures the sting.)

NETTLE CHAMP (to the tune of "The Man From Mullingar"
You may sing and shout and boast about your souffles and your flans
Your kormas and your ragouts and your fancy coq-au-vins
I've tried them all as 'round this world my weary way I've tramped
But there's not a dish could hold a light to a bowl of nettle champ

CHORUS
Forget about your lobster and your salmon
Your sirloin, t-bone, rack of ribs and gammon
No masterchef's invention could ever hold a lamp
To a knob of butter melting in a bowl of nettle champ

I nibbled on a truffle once, I wasn't much impressed
Likewise some Russian caviar, a little bit to test
Some venison on which I'm told the chef had placed his stamp
But they only made me hanker for a bowl of nettle champ

CHORUS

Well it's true that I'm no gastronome, I like my cooking plain
Sauces, gravies, coulis are served to me in vain
I don't need sprigs of parsley placed so as to vamp
Up the simple presentation of me bowl of nettle champ