Wow, Red, this has the potential to be a sad and difficult situation that keeps getting worse. Hope it doesn't.

I think the part about the dog will get resolved rather quickly, one way or another. You say "we (the network locally) think the canine visit was a good idea." Who is the network? Do they include the staff of the home? Assuming staff approval, I agree with Burke – try to find out what the daughter's concern is, and try to address that. But if she remains unconvinced and digs in her heels for some reason, you probably need to respect her decision. She's the family; you're not. The ex-girlfriend aspect only adds baggage. Let's hope she is just responding this way because she's confused and overwhelmed at suddenly having to deal with her mother's life in addition to her own. Hopefully she will come to appreciate anyone who makes her mother's life more pleasant.

I certainly hope your Lady recovers and is able to come home in two weeks, but I wouldn't bank on it. And if she does, I sure hope she isn't left alone. The amount of short-term memory loss you describe would make it very dangerous. And it won't do for you and the neighbors to take on responsibility for her. Continue to visit, of course, but don't try to care for her yourself. If they can't provide 24-hour care for her at home, she would probably be better off in an "assisted living" facility with her own furniture and belongings in her room, and a staff of trained people at hand. But it's not for you or me to make those decisions; only the family can do that.

In 1997 my widowed mother flew to Washington from Floriday for a 5-day Christmas visit. During that time she fell in my home, breaking her hip. We now believe she had her first frontal "cerebral accident" (stroke) several weeks before leaving Florida. Several days after the hip surgery she had another stroke, unrecognized as such by the physician on duty at the hospital, who gave her a strong sedative because she was "combatative." Medical complications kept her in nursing homes and hospitals until she died in April 2000. She desperately wanted to go "home," but even if she had been physically able to travel to Florida, she could not have lived there without constant attendants. The stroke damage was permanent; she never could deal with certain concepts. In addition, there were circulatory problems which sometimes affected her brain, causing her to see people, animals, or just vague shapes that really weren't there, and talk about friends and situations from long ago. She was usually very animated during these episodes, and much happier than when she was lucid (when she realized how rotten her situation was). We hoped at one point to get her into an "assisted living" place, but her medical condition prevented it.

Sorry if I'm rambling here. This situation just rings a lot of bells for me. It's so very sad for the Lady whose life has been so altered, and whose daughter at least so far seems less than sensitive. But it's no picnic for the daughter, either. During one of my Mom's wackier moments, she said to me, "Stop trying to run my life!" I didn't say anything, but all I could think was, I love you, but there's nothing I'd like better than not to have to run your life…

Good luck to all concerned,

Nancy