In response to Áine's request (in SONG CHALLENGE! - parts 8 and 31, dated 18-Aug-01) that we in the "Catch-up Club" slow down our rate of posting new songs to past Challenge!s — AND in the interest of preserving Áine's sanity — I have decided to post no more than one past-Challenge! submission per day, or seven in one week. (So what if it takes me another month-and-a-half to catch up? I ain't in no race!!!) I hope that other Challenge!rs will also honor Áine's request.

Remember, Áine's the one who has to read EACH of these songs, figure out which award to grant it, and add it to the "SONG CHALLENGE! Winners" page... in addition to inventing and reviewing NEW Challenge!s... in addition to having a real-time life. I for one would not like to be responsible for burning her out to the point where she throws up her hands and runs away from the SONG CHALLENGE!, screaming, and never returns.

That said, here's my song for today (another in the "quirky and weird" category):


'E WRECKED A HAPPY BEE
(Tune: "Eric the Half A Bee" by Monty Python; music by Eric Idle, original lyrics by Eric Idle and John Cleese)

INTRO:
"Take 'im away! 'E wrecked the Orchestra Leader!"

ORCHESTRA LEADER:
"Get this diode off me back! I am not a bee!! ...Thenkew. Ahem: A-one, two, a-one, two, three, four..."

[Piano – introductory flourish]

LEAD STINGER [spoken to piano accompaniment]:
Laughably, entomology
Must dip in fact to have hon-ey.
But has a bee just got to be
Nixed, affixed to antenn-ee, – Just to see
If, when a bee be headed free
To knot in tree and enters, she
Would hated be, a naughty bee
Due to some human gadgetry? – Stinging!...

ALL STING:
Lawd, 'e be one tool, see:
'E wrecked a happy bee.
N - E - 1 - with - I's - can - C
'E wrecked a happy bee.

LEAD STINGER:
Is this wretch of drone stud-y
Daft? A creep? Or gone nutt-y?
Some geek on a walk-íe talk-íe?

ALL STING:
Yes!
An' 'e wrecked a happy bee!

ALL STING:
Little di-odes on middle of she,
'E wrecked a happy bee.
Oh oh oh, see see see,
'E wrecked a happy bee.

LEAD STINGER:
I loathe this vile PhD,
Bee-searching in an SUV
By tuning to her frequency,
Fol-lów-ing tardily.

ALL STING:
Fol-lów-ing tardily.

LEAD STINGER:
Very tardily.

VOICE:
Very smart-ily?

LEAD STINGER:
Not "very smart-ily."?

VOICE:
Ah!

ALL STING [quietly]:
Not so smart-ily!

[Ends with elaborate buzz-humming]
Bzz bzz bzzzzz, bz-bz bzzzzz,
Bz-bzz, bz-bzzzz, bzzzz, bzzzzzzzzz....