Personally, I find the English version very trite, poetically speaking, compared to the German. I think it's because the rhymes within individual lines (not present in the German) seem contrived, rather than natural.

Much as I admire the kinds of 'wordsmithmanship' that can match meter perfectly and use alliteration, internal rhyme, etc, (e.g, Cole Porter lyrics and much of Irving Berlin), I don't like it when the author's effort at doing it seems to transparent. I love the German lyrics, and I love Dietrich's version of the song, as on her album, "Wiedersehen Mit Marlene."