Catatonic Blandness is cured in small children by teaching them four-letter words they already know and placing them in charge of someone trying to get something important done.

In adults, who don't take kindly to being placed in charge of others, religous epiphanies, unfortunately, are the only known solution, and the cure is sometimes more troublesome than the illness.

Biochemical solutions including lysergic di-ethylmide, psilocybin derivative, and hemp byproducts have been known to produce occasional cures but are not predictable.

The most reliable cure known is a series of close brushes with physical harm, which stimulates adrenalin and acts as a precursor to having somethign interesting to say. Unfortunately FDA approval processes which were in full swing back during the Johnson administration have since been brought to a halt by politically-correct fanatacism. So we aren't likely to see this one prescribed by family doctors soon. Hiring out on tramp steamers is recommended as a reasonable alternative.

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