An engineer died and appeared at the gates.

Well St Peter was off on an errand, and the angel filling in wasn't too bright, and he couldn't find the poor guys name in the big book, so he told him "You must be destined for Hell."

Well the engineer was kinda surprised, but he figured after all it can't be much worse than working for Boeing like he'd done all his life. Reluctantly, he follows directions to go to hell.

When St. Peter gets back, the stand in (he was only a temp) forgets to mention what had happened, so St. Peter doesn't find out about it for quite a while. After he looks things up in the book, he finds that a terrible mistake has been made. So he gets his visa and packs up and goes down to hell to see if he can get things fixed up.

When he gets to hell, it's really amazing.

Right at the entrance, theres this big ice cream machine. When he walks in, everything is all air conditioned. There's a musak machine playing lovely tunes (heavy on the Irish, perhaps). A nearby brimstone pit is powering a popcorn machine. There's a nice smooth escalator to take him down to the bottom of the pit where satan is waiting for him (he called ahead).

When he tells satan about the mistake (of course he blames it on his "secretary" - didn't wann admit he was using temps) satan says "No, I'm not gonna let you have that guy. He's got everything working here, and things are just a whole lot nicer having him around to keep things that way. I'm gonna keep him."

Well St Peter argues and argues, but he's getting nowhere, so he finally says "If that guy isn't back up in Heaven in twenty minutes I'm gonna sue you!"

To which satan says - "HA! Where you gonna get a lawyer?"

BA-DUM

John