So a fellow gets to heaven and St Peter is giving him a tour of the place, showing him the eternal library of all things, the many mansions, etc. They pass a break in the clouds and up from below comes the howls of the damned, weeping and wailing. "Who are those poor folks?" he asks. "Oh," says St Peter, "Those are the Mormons who smoked cigarettes and drank coffee." The tour continues, more heavenly mansions, but sooon there's another break in the clouds and again they hear wailing and groaning and gnashing of teeth. "Who's that?" asks the newbie. "Those are the Baptists who went out dancing with folks of the opposite sex," says St. Peter. He goes on, pointing out all the wonders of heaven, but then, again, they are interrupted by the sounds of human anguish coming up from the depth. "Who are those poor folks?" asks the fellow. "Those," sighs St Peter "are the episcopalians who used their salad forks on their dessert."