So!! I am happy to announce as the official chairman of the state Electoral Board for the State of Bewilderment, that the results are now all in and the winner is Spaw by a generous margin, certified as being greater than .375 per cent. Now that's a clear-cut lead, and so the polls are now closed. No overseas votes will be counted after 3:40 PM Pacific Time, 6:40 PM EST on August 24 (now).

Congraturation, Sexiest-Erect Spaw! Rots of Ruck in your new positions!

Ah-so Amusant Seirf, Chairman, State Electoral Board