In a dream, God told Deon to forsake family and friends and start a bowling trophy shop in Smoot, TN, pop. 617. There were no bowlers in Smoot. Despondent, Deon retired to a cold water flat. He turned the gas oven on and closed all the sooty windows. Waiting for death, he lit a cigarette....

The Lord works in mysterious ways. Deon lived, but a passerby died from flying debris. A court ruling landed Deon where they don't let him play with pencils, belts, or shoelaces. God doesn't say much these days, but the devil whispers suggestions in Deon's ear.