Since the story occurred in Canada, I've parodied that classic, Canadee-i-o.

It's of a gallant lady, renowned for cutting hair
Who looked divine in finery, and better when all bare
To combine such talents, to sea this lass did go
To seek her fame and fortune in Canadee-i-o

Oh Canadee's the place for me, where the whale-fish they do blow
Where there's beaver and there's caribou and in winter lots of snow
And if you feel frustrated to the barbers you can go
And take a little off the top in Canadee-i-o

Sadie Smythe is young and lithe and her hair is black as coal
And you should see that lady writhe around the barber's pole
She can trim your quiff and make you stiff, she puts on quite a show
Sadie Smythe will blow you dry in Canadee-i-o

"Something for the weekend sir?" purred the lovely Kitty Day
"Or maybe you can't wait that long! I'm happy either way
I always meet the client's needs, I never answer no
We're easy come and easy go in Canadee-i-o"

You rambling boys of pleasure, make your way along with me
In search of recreation, we will sail to Canadee
Let grass grow beneath our feet? Loud comes the answer no
And we shall not let our hair grow long in Canadee-i-o