THANK GOD, I'M A RUNTY DOG
(Tune: "Thank God I'm a Country Boy" - words and music by John Martin Summers, performed by John Denver)

Oh, life in a farm town is kinda laid back;
Aint' nothin' for a runty dog to hit the sack
Under Ick's eyes and right behind his back.
Thank God I'm a runty dog!

It's a simple kinda life, never givin' a darn,
Raised up from a puppy dog a-lurkin' in a barn.
My bowls are all filled when I please and when I warn (grrr).
Thank God I'm a runty dog!

Well, the perks are fun and the fun's gettin' so
That he'll rout the little town for racin' to and fro
While this girl's asleep, and I'm layin' kinda low.
Thank God I'm a runty dog!

In hay I'll be good as I lay, cuttin' wood
But ol' Dorrit and wife wanna wake me if they could
Just to piddle, use the can, an' bark for my food.
Thank God I'm a runty dog!

Chorus: Well, I got me a farm life, I got me round middle.
When the sun's comin' up, I can take that o' piddle.
Right now nothin', not a bunny, gun or fiddle
Can prod an ol' runty dog!

Well, I wouldn't raid the night all primed for dog duels;
I never was one of them orn'ry horny fools.
I'd rather leave my piddle in the barn in pools!
Thank God I'm a runty dog!

Yeah, silly folk hikin' in the dark without seein',
A lot of sad people thinkin' "What a flighty bein'!
Runnin' the hell around ol' Tow'rsey, ruttin', peein'
An' God, where's that runty dog?"

Chorus: Well, I got me a farm life, I got me round middle.
When the sun's comin' up, I can take that o' piddle.
Right now nothin', not a bunny, gun or fiddle
Can prod an ol' runty dog!

Well, I piddled as a puppy in the hay so wide;
Mommy took me by the scruff and held me up to her side.
She said, "Give man no strife, play and piddle with pride."
Thank God I'm a runty dog!

My Dorrit taught me young how to hunt and where to piddle,
He taught me how to lurk and lay alone while he'd fiddle.
Caught me! Now he'll love me and give his acquittal!
Thank God I'm his runty dog – yeah!