I Wish I Were A Lesbian
From the 2 Nice Girls

When I was a young girl, like normal girls do
I looked to a woman's love to help get me through
I never needed any more than a feminine touch
I hated the thought of kissing a man, it really was too much.
I did not drink, I did not smoke, I did not say goddamn;
I was polite, I was sensitive until I loved a man.
My family were proud of me, were proud of what I am,
But then along came Lester and my tale of woe began.
 
I spent my last ten dollars on birth control and beer.
My life was so much simpler when I was sober and queer,
But the love of a strong hairy man has turned my head I fear,
And made me spend my last ten bucks on birth control and beer.
 
It was June 1983 when Mary Lou and I did part.
She said she loved another dyke. My God! it broke my heart.
I was bitter and disillusioned to lose another girlfriend
But Lester came to work at Papa's store and decided to ease on in.