The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #22838   Message #540714
Posted By: Aidan Crossey
03-Sep-01 - 09:43 AM
Thread Name: Song Challenge! Part 31
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 31
A parody of Highway Patrolman by Bruce Springsteen

My name's Joe Roberts, I work for the state
A Sergeant out by Huntingdon, posted there of late
Huntingdon Valley's a quiet town, normality's the rule
So when we get an incident, we tend to think it's cool

Round about two-thirty – shortly after lunch –
Got a call on the short wave – seemed there'd been a bunch
Of trouble at the playing fields, sounded like some man
Had got himself locked in, while visiting the can

Me and Frankie out laughing and drinking
Nothing feels better than blood on blood
Taking turns dancing with Maria
While the band plays "Night of the Johnstown Flood"
I'd patch him up when he'd banged his head
Or walked into a pole
Got caught up on some barbed-wire
Or fell into a hole

Ever since I can remember, I've been messed about
Frankie'd have an accident, I'd have to help him out
For he was prone to accidents, a walking danger zone
And I'd be called to assist him when we both lived at home

This constant need for succour, caused me to move away
I moved to Pennsylvania (shortened to PA)
And here I live in Huntigndon, I feel my life's my own
Occasionally hear from Frankie on the telephone

Me and Frankie out laughing and drinking
Nothing feels better than blood on blood
Taking turns dancing with Maria
While the band plays "Night of the Johnstown Flood"
I'd take him to the hospital
To have his lesions stitched
If he fell through a window
Or into a drainage ditch

I arrived in my police car down at the playing fields
The crowd of people parted as I landed on the scene
But when I saw the victim, I almost turned and ran
It was my brother Frankie wedged into the can

Good to see you Joe, he said, here we go again
Had a spot of bother, in a bit of pain
Gonna need some help, he said, I'm truly sorry, bro'
I'm so pleased to see you – so pleased, you'll never know

Me and Frankie out laughing and drinking
Nothing feels better than blood on blood
Taking turns dancing with Maria
While the band plays "Night of the Johnstown Flood"
I had to learn first aid techniques
To help him stay alive
Held his hand and soothed him
Till the ambulance arrived

Joe, he said, I missed you - I missed you a lot
I thought about it constantly and hatched a cunning plot
I know you think that I am just, a clumsy awkward jerk
And so I planned to get here while you were still at work

Arriving into Huntingdon, I felt the need to pee
Saw a public lavtaory, down by the playing fields
But somehow in the process, 'fraid I dropped my keys
In attempting rescue, begat the mess you see

Me and Frankie out laughing and drinking
Nothing feels better than blood on blood
Taking turns dancing with Maria
While the band plays "Night of the Johnstown Flood"
I'd bandage up his injuries
And bathe and dress his wounds
Couldn't get away from him
A moment too soon

I looked long and hard at Frankie, he was truly in the shit
I knew he needed lots of help to get him out of it
And my heart – grown once so hard to him – was softened by his plight
"Take my hand, my brother, and hold on to me tight"

I pulled and hauled and tugged, it seemed that Frankie was wedged fast
But then he gave a little, soon the danger point was passed
And I called Frankie "brother" and called me "Brother Joe"
We kissed and hugged each other, tears of joy did flow

Me and Frankie out laughing and drinking
Nothing feels better than blood on blood
Taking turns dancing with Maria
While the band plays "Night of the Johnstown Flood"
I'd get him out of trouble
And then I'd set his bones
Poor old brother Frankie
Was very accident prone