To the tune of "Greenland Whale Fisheries"

THE OSLO MERMAID
In nineteen-hundred and ninety-nine
July the twenty-fourth
We boarded
On a pleasure cruise
And from Oslo we set forth, brave boys
And from Oslo we set forth

The sun being high and the wind being low
I stood out on the deck
When the sight I saw
On the rocks below
Stopped me sudden in my tracks, brave boys
Stopped me sudden in my tracks

Her flowing hair, alluring breasts
Her nether parts all scales
A lady's face
A lady's waist
But below a fish's tail, brave boys
But below a fish's tail

To lure our ship on to the rocks
I feared it was her plan
So through the craft
Both fore and aft
In search of the captain bold I ran, brave boys
In search of the captain bold I ran

Oh captain bold I beg of you
Steer not towards the shore
A mermaid there
Has cast a snare
This boat, she plans, will sail no more, brave boys
This boat, she plans, will sail no more

The captain laughed and said, dear man
Don't frighten so, hear me
The creature you've seen
Is a local beauty queen
And not a siren of the sea, brave boys
Not a siren of the sea

Listen now to how she sings
Her voice is like a goat's
She croaks and she rasps
She wheezes and she gasps
No sailing man would dash his boat, brave boys
No sailing man would dash his boat