Don't you guys ever sleep? (It's only 10:45 PM here...) Yes, M.Ted, I have, but there is a very real difference in the way men and women send those signals. I think you're exactly right, though, when you talk about the "pecking order." That sense of hierarchy, and the tendency to appease those above us and bully those below, seems to be "hard-wired" into our brains, more so in males than in females--though each of us modifies it, or reacts to it, or represses it, or acts it out, in a different way, based on our other personality characteristics, socialization, experience, etc.

And, 'Spaw, I think your reaction is a healthy one, and is due to your being comfortable with who you are. (I was going to make a joke there, but I'll just let it stand.) It's the people who are afraid they might be somebody they don't want to be who are the most threatened. But you know, I'm not so sure that these encounters are always "offers of sharing love." Sometimes they're opening salvos in the war for status or power...often when the person making the "offer" feels vulnerable or afraid and needs to establish his/her "position". And that's often where the trouble starts.

Man, I don't know about you, but I need a song right about now. Pete Seeger should do...

Old devil time, I'm gonna fool you now
Old devil time, You'd like to bring me down
When I feel low, my lovers gather round
And help me rise to fight you one more time

Old devil pain, you've often pinned me down
You thought I'd cry and beg you for the end
At that very time, my lovers gathered round
And helped me rise to fight you one more time

Old devil fear, you with your icy hands
Old devil fear, you'd like to freeze me cold
When I'm afraid, my lover gather round
And help me rise to fight you one more time

Old devil hate, I knew you long ago
Before I learned the poison in your breath
Now when I hear your lies, my lovers gather round
And help me rise to fight you one more time

No storm nor fire can ever beat us down
No wind that blows but carries us further on
And you who fear, oh lovers gather round
And we will rise to sing it one more time^^^

Aloha,
Mark