A parody on "The Old Woman From Wexford"

THE WOMAN FROM BRIGHTON
There was a woman of Brighton
In Brighton Town did dwell
She loved her husband dearly
But his habits gave her hell
With your rum-dum dum-dum day-ro
But his habits gave her hell

For every afternoon he'd go
Down to the local pub
In the back room of which place
There was a stripping club
With your rum-dum dum-dum day-ro
There was a stripping club

So she went to the doctor
Some medicine for to find
"Have you any pills or potions
That would make me husband blind?"
With your rum-dum dum-dum day-ro
That would make me husband blind

"Feed him eggs and marrowbones
And make him sup them all
It won't be very long until
He won't see you at all"
With your rum-dum dum-dum day-ro
He won't see you at all

"It's not the sight of me" she said
"That causes me this grief
But if your medicine does the job
It will give me some relief"
With your rum-dum dum-dum day-ro
It will give me some relief

So she fed him eggs and marrowbones
And made him sup them all
It wasn't very long until
He couldn't see the wall
With your rum-dum dum-dum day-ro
He couldn't see the wall

Which him most unhappy
Most fretful and most glum
Cos from that moment onwards
He missed his tits and bums
With your rum-dum dum-dum day-ro
He missed his tits and bums

If I could only touch he thought
The strippers' naughty bits
It would make up for the fact that
I no longer see their tits
With your rum-dum dum-dum day-ro
I no longer see their tits

But the elders of the Council
Considered it too much
When it comes to strippers
You may look but never touch
With your rum-dum dum-dum day-ro
You may look but never touch