Cigarette smoke is bad enough, but those of you who have never played the British country & Western circuit should try this problem. Over here, C & W fans believe that country is the real cowboy music (no, American friends, don't bother arguing, some of us know the truth!) and so they not only dress up like cowboys, but actually wear replica guns and have fast-draw contests in the interval. In some clubs, they hold this blasted contest on or near the stage... now, try and imagine what it's like going up and singing after that, in a blue haze of cordite-or-similar.

Excuse me, just the memory of it is making me want to go and throw up....!

- ianB