Slight variations (from the record Spike Milligan & Jeremy Taylor live at Cambride University) El Fandango Tea rooms is "Old Fandango Tea Rooms" The departments at the fourth floor are "Kiddies wear, Juvenile,Children and sub-teens,twin-teens,middle age etc., "Ag sister Marlene" is heard as "Och, sister Maureen" and this verse doesn't use the word "bleddy" (if nothing else, it ruins the scansion)

The verse following the offer of the sixth floor seems to be:- Now, if only I had a minute or two to sit down on me seat, I'm gonna sue ths company for giving me flat feet. 'Cos I've got fallen arches, and lumbago in me back, And I'm sure it wont be long now before I get the sack.

What madness has of late possessed the brain? Though few can write, yet fewer can refrain.