I am exhausted today, my analysis machinery grinding to a halt because the swamp of tormented impressions and feelings and protestations and pain direct and indirect has finally asserted itself. I guess we all have our personal timing settings; I am numb with afterimages today.

I feel emotionally pinned down as though I were in the WTC wreckage. I am not going back to the base today although they have reduced the Threat Con to Charlie from Delta and i could probably get into the office witrh great inconvenience. I'll try to do some work from home. Waves of lassitude painted black and sad hit me from point to point like a blanket of black apathy; lifting fingers seems too much to ask.

Then it passes and life reasserts itself, as it always will, no matter what, and the future spreads out a little bit and possibility reappears.

Thanks to all of you -- whoever you are -- for being a forum that makes i possible to rant, ramble and cry "Anathema" to understanding ears.

Love you one and all,

Amos