AndyG asked for this parody more than a year ago. I didn't want to bury it in that old thread, so here's a new thread for it. Les Barker has written it. I think it's obvious what the original is. Les Barker's page is well worth a visit as is buying his records and songbooks. He has written many parodies on folk songs, but also on pop songs. I'll post as well his parody on the Wild Rover (Wild Major) in that thread and his parody on "The January Man" in an extra thread. That should be enough to get the idea.

Wolfgang

MY HUSBAND'S GOT NO PORRIDGE IN HIM
(Les Barker)

As I walked out one may morning
To view the fields and the leaves a-springing
I saw three bears come sailing in
And mother bear her hands was wringing;
Oh dear oh.
Oh dear oh.
My husband's got no porridge in him.
Oh dear oh.

His Quaker Oats I did supply;
I put three plates upon the table
But someone else was in the house
And ate as much as they was able-,
Oh dear oh....

One plate hot and one plate cold
And one plate somewhere in between 'em.
Someone had the bloomin' lot;
I didn't even have to clean 'em; Oh dear oh...

Three empty plates, and never think
To save a little for the needy;
No; the hot stuffs down the sink
The cold has blocked the soddin' bidet.
Oh dear oh...

My husband sits in his armchair
And gazes out at the infinite-,
But when he came back home today
Someone had been sitting in it;
Oh dear oh;...

There was no tea left in the pot;
Someone had been in and drank it;
Then I went into his room
And found a blonde beneath the blanket;
Oh dear oh;...

I went and I confronted him;
He played the innocent; what's more, he
Said she must have broken in;
Well, what a bloody fairy story;
Oh dear oh;...

I'm going home to mother's house
And as for him, I'll not be fretting;
He'll get his own tea now, the louse;
That's all the oats that he'll be getting.
Oh dear oh;...^^

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See My Husband's Got No Courage In Him
Husband With No Courage In Him