This version of the one half crown from the late Sam Dorrens, Coleraine, Northern Ireland:


The One Half Crown

Oh I took Miss McGinty unto a fancy ball;
For ticket I paid two and six, I thought that was all
But when she shouted "Supper!" you might have knocked me down;
For all the money in the world I had was only half a crown.

Now the girl had a wonderful appetite for this what she ate:
An oyster raw, a lobster claw, a turkey leg and breast,
Ham and tongue for a girl so young; such a cargo she put down;
I fell on the floor when she asked for more; I'd just the one half crown.

To me it was a settler, I was but a silly lad,
When she said she would like to have a drink as her appetite was bad
And underneath her overcoat, she must have had a tank
Or a second handed brewery for this is what she drank.

A bottle of Bass and a good stiff glass of brandy to begin
And she drunk a lot o' whiskey hot and a dose of rum and gin
Guinness's stout she poured about, a hogshead halfway down
I fell on the floor when she asked for more, I'd just the one half crown.

Hey the people stared and the waiter glared to see her shift such stuff
When she says "Ochone, oh take me home, I think I've had enough."
I reached the waiter my half crown, says "I'll be owing you the rest"
When he altered the size of my two eyes and jumped upon my chest.

He gave me a kick in the small of the back and he shook me into fits
He tore my clothes and broke my nose, smashed me up in bits
I was hammered and licked and bruised and kicked and chased all round the town
I was all swelled up like a poisoned pup and I lost my good half crown.

From Sam Dorrens: Morning of 6th May 1980

John Moulden