marymarymary, thank you very much for your posting. I am sorry about your loss. We another member whose house was struck by lightening and burned to the ground, two years ago, and it has been a long, slow process, dealing with the complete and utter loss. Thankfully, there was no one in the place, unlike your tragic situation.
From talking to her throughout, I recognise a lot of the things you suggest and just want you to know your sharing is very much appreciated.