I heard the "turpentine in the toilet" tale with a punch line (of sorts).

About the old guy who goes to town for groceries & while he's gone his grandaughter decides to do him a "favor" by washing his pipes with benzine 'cause they were all smelly & black inside from the years of smoking. After she's done, she pours the extra benzine in the outhouse!

The old boy comes back and goes directly to the outhouse---where he fills his new pipe with the tobacco he just bought, strikes a match, lights his pipe and tosses the match into the hole he's stiing on. The resulting explosion tossed him 40 feet into the air. When he landed amidst the rubble and destruction of the outhouse he brushed himself off and mumbled to himself, "Yep, must've been something I et in town!"

Art