TEN PROPOSED NEW LAWS FOR THIS PRESENT CRISIS:

1. To buy an American flag, you must present proof you have voted at least once in the last three elections (yes, local and state elections count).

Not voting can be a political statement as well. I'd say that to own a flag one must pass the US knowledge test which Immigrants (new adult citizens) are required to pass.

2. To display an American flag in any form, you must present proof of voter registration.

See above

3. To wave an American flag in public, you must be able to name at least one of the following: A. One of your U.S. Senators B. Your U.S. Representative C. Your President ("George Bush" does not count; ambiguous)

See above.

4. To sell any product with an American flag on it, you must answer the following question correctly: The Bill of Rights is part of: - the Constitution; - the Magna Carta; - the Declaration of Independence.

U.S.A. people should get a part of the Proceeds. (You can't use Canadian Flag without permission)

5. Those heard singing patriotic songs in public may be asked to show their voter registration cards.

Must know what the song is about, who wrote it and why, especially "God Blessed America for Me"

6. To be permitted to scream "Nuke Afghanistan," you must be able to correctly locate Afghanistan on a map or globe.

Must visit at least 100 people at a burn ward. Must be able to recite the order of symptoms for radiation sickness. Must look at least 1000 Afgani children in the eye and apologize for killing/making them orphins in advance. Must supply a solution for the destruction of world economy and sability in advance. Must be willing to go to Afghanistan and hold up a targeting sign saying "drop bomb here"

7. To be permitted to scream "Arabs go home," you must list and correctly locate ten Arab homelands.

Must pass citizenship test. Must write an essay entitled "The economic benefits of Immigration." Must be willing to endure equal discrimination. Perhaps castration to prevent the genetic proliferation of ignorance and stupidity.

8. Those who wish to express opinions about Arabs and Arab-Americans must pass the following test: A. Those who follow the religion of Islam are called: - Muslims - Muslins - Fanatics

B. The holy book of Islam is called: - The Koran - The Koram - The Bible

C. In Arabic, God is called: - Ali - Allah - Jehovah

Is a Syrian an Arab? An Iraqi?, An Afgani? a Yemini? A cabdriver in New York?

Who invented our current number system? Algebra? Trigonometry? Who preserved civilization during the dark ages?

9. Priority for purchase of American flags will be given to those whose ancestors lived on American soil the longest. When all American Indians who wish to display the red, white and blue are satisfied, other applicants will be accepted.

Ancestors have nothing to do with it. It is what WE do as individuals that count.

10. A call for war on any radio talk-show will be construed as a public declaration of willingness to enlist in the US Army; callers will have 24 hours to complete the paperwork.

We don't want people like that in our Armys. But we could consider a special "war mongers" tax. In the Civil war Northerners could buy exemptions by paying people to fight in their place. Perhaps modern war mongers could put up the couple of million it takes to train a pilot or Green Beret?

Thenkyew, ww (not my own creation--a forward from one of my friends)