I don't believe the Search Engines are working at the M.C.

Vicar in the Dockside Church
Tune: ???

The Vicar in the dockside church,
One Sunday morning said,
"Some dirty bastard's shat himself,
I'll punch his fucking head."
Well up jumped Jock from the third row back,
And he spat a mighty go-o-ob,
"I'm the one who shat himself,
You can chew my fucking kno-o-ob,
You can chew my fucking knob."

The organist played 'Hearts of Oak',
Mixed up with 'Auld Lang Syne',
The preacher then got up and said,
'You've had your fucking time."
The organist waltzed down the aisle,
With his organ on his back,
Then up jumped Jock and hollered out,
(And the Vicar from his pulpit cried,)
"You can waltz that bastard ba-a-ack,
You can waltz that bastard back."

Sweet Jenny Lynd got up to sing,
She warbled like a thrush,
The Vicar from his pulpit said,
"By God you're fucking lush."
"That's right," said she, "but I'm not for free,
It's thirty bob a ti-i-ime."

The up jumped Jock and hollered out,
(And the Vicar from his pulpit cried)
"Hands off you bastards she's mi-i-ine,
Hands off you bastards she's mine."