SOME LITTLE BUG IS GOING TO FIND YOU

In these days of indigestion, it is oftentimes a question
As to what to eat and what to leave alone;
For each microbe and bacillus has a different way to kill us,
And in time they always claim us for their own.
There are germs of every kind in every food that you can find,
In the market or upon the bill of fare.
Drinking water¹s just as risky as the so-called deadly whiskey,
And it¹s often a mistake to breathe the air.
Some little bug is going to find you someday.
Some little bug will creep behind you someday.
Then he¹ll send for his bug friends and all your earthly trouble ends.
Some little bug is going to find you someday.

The inviting green cucumber gets most everybody¹s number
While the green corn has a system of its own.
Its behavior is quite vicious
And a doctor will be coming to your home.
Eating lobster cooked or plain is only flirting with ptomaine,
While an oyster sometimes has a lot to say;
But the clams we eat in chowder make the angels chant the louder,
For they know that we¹ll be with them right away.
Some little bug is going to find you someday.
Some little bug will creep behind you someday.
Then he¹ll get into your gizzard; if you lose him, you¹re a wizard.
Some little bug is going to find you someday.

Take a slice of nice fried onion, and you¹re fit for Dr. Munyon.
Apple dumplings kill you quicker than a train.
Chew a cheesy midnight rabbit, and a grave you¹ll soon inhabit.
Ah, to eat at all is such a foolish game.
Eating huckleberry pie is a pleasing way to die,
While sauerkraut brings on softening of the brain.
When you eat banana fritters, every undertaker titters
And the casket makers nearly go insane.
Some little bug is going to find you someday.
Some little bug will creep behind you someday.
With a nervous little quiver, he¹ll give cirrhosis of the liver.
Some little bug is going to find you someday.

When cold-storage vaults I visit, I can only say: what is it
Makes poor mortals fill their systems with such stuff?
Now for breakfast prunes are dandy if a stomach pump is handy,
And your doctor can be found quite soon enough.
Eat a plate of fine pig's knuckles and the headstone cutter chuckles,
And the gravedigger writes a note upon his cuff.
Eat that lovely red bologna, and you¹ll wear a wooden kimono
And your relatives start scrapping about your stuff.
Some little bug is going to find you someday.
Some little bug will creep behind you someday.
Eating juicy sliced pineapple makes the sexton dust the chapel.
Some little bug is going to find you someday.

All those crazy foods they mix will float us 'cross the River Styx
Or they¹ll start us climbing up the Milky Way,
And the meals we eat in courses means a hearse and two black horses,
So before a meal, some people always pray.
Luscious grapes breed appendicitis, and the juice leads to gastritis,
So there's only death to greet us, either way,
And fried liver¹s nice, but mind you: friends will soon ride slow behind you,
And the papers then will have nice things to say.
Some little bug is going to find you someday.
Some little bug will creep behind you someday.
Eat your sauce; they call it chili; on your breast they¹ll place a lily.
Some little bug is going to find you someday.

Spaw