One-Eyed Trouser Snake
Tune: ???

Oh, I got a little creature
I suppose you'd call him a pet
And if there's something wrong with him
I don't have to see the vet.

He goes everywhere that I go
Whether sleeping or awake
God help me if I ever lost
Me one-eyed trouser snake.

CHORUS:
Oh me one-eyed trouser snake,
Oh me one-eyed trouser snake.
God help me if I ever lost
Me one-eyed trouser snake.

One day I got reading in an old sky pilot's book,
About two strakers bastards who made the hood go crook.
They reckoned it was a serpent that made eve the apple take
Cripes, that was no flaming serpent, 'twas Adam's one-eyed trouser snake.

I met this arty sheila who I'd never met before,
And something kind of told me she banged like a dunny door.
I said, "Come up and see me etching", she said, "I hope it's not a fake."
I said, "Its real, and a work of art. It's my one-eyed trouser snake."

So come all you little sheilas and listen to me some,
The moral of the trouser snake is short as it is long,
Beware of imitation, don't lock your bedroom door,
When my pajama python bites you, you'll be screaming out for more