flattop - You scum-sucking varmint! You obscure, profane, incompetent wretch! You have all the charm of a vulture perched on a dead pig's ass. All decent people scrupulously avoid your company, and disdain your witless attempts at humour. You are lower than smegma. You are vile, mundane, and utterly without class. To actually insult you is impossible, because nothing can be said about you so awful that it is not true. You, sir, are filth. Unregenerate filth.
How's that? Better? I await your next missive from the library, assuming they have the bad judgement to let you in the door again...
*(visitors to Mudcat should be cautioned that these ongoing exchanges between myself and flattop bear little or no relation to the other material on this or any other thread, and should not be taken as pertinent to the general scene in any way whatsoever...)*