By the way I aready have the following:

A pirate is standing at the bar and he really looks the part. He has a wooden peg leg, a hook for a hand, and an eye patch. A local strolls up and asks, "How'd you lose your leg?"

"Argh, t'was a cannon ball took off me leg in a fight off the island of Santa Domingo."

"Wow, and how did you lose your hand?"

"Argh, t'was a cutlass swip in a fight off the coast of Madagascar."

"Oh, and what about your eye?"

"Seagull poop!"

"What!?! Seagull poop can do that?"

"Well, it was the first day with me hook."

My other pirate joke is not appropriate for children.