Inside Those Red Plush Breeches
Tune: ???

John Thomas was a servant tall
The pride and joy of the servant's hall,
Although he only had one ball,
Inside his red plush breeches.

CHORUS: And he wore red plush breeches
And he wore red plush breeches
And he wore red plush breeches that kept John Thomas warm

Out of all the servant's at the servant's post
Mary was the one he loved the most
And for her his balls would roast
Inside those red plush breeches

They went for a walk one moonlight night
The stars were out and the moon was bright
Things became extremely tight
Inside those red plush breeches

They found a stump to sit upon
They found a stack to lay upon
Next day Mary sewed buttons on
That pair of red plush breeches

Mary had an illegit
It's face looked like a piece of shit
And every time she looked at it
She cursed those red plush breeches

Now Mary laid poor John a trap,
And he fell for it like a sap,
And now he's got a dose of clap,
Inside those red plush breeches.