This peculiar collection of oddities has me flumoxed.

Nelly 'Awkins
Tune: ???

I first met Nelly 'Awkins down
The old Kent Road,
Her drawers were hanging down,
She'd just been with Charlie Brown
I shoved filthy tanner in her
Filthy rotten hand,
'Cos she was a dirty old whore,

CHORUS (Tune Change):
Won't somebody make my rhubarb rise
Dada dada da da
Oh my rhubarb refuses to rise
To it's natural size
Market gardening size
Oh my rhubarb refuses to rise
And my baby don't love me,
My baby don't love me
Oh my baby don't love no more.

(Tune Change) I caught a dose of pox a year ago,
a year ago, a year ago, a year ago.
I thought it was the clap and it would go,
it would go, it would go.
The longer I waited, the worse it grew,
Now I've got the galloping knob rot,
What shall I do?
The other day I lost the starboard ball,
starboard ball, starboard ball, starboard ball,
And now the other one's begun to fall.
I'm sorry to say, I'm wasting away,
And soon I'll have no balls at all.
Chorus -