its more a case of a deep hurt that I am scared of resurfacing

I believe that the only way you will ever be able to deal effectively with those feelings is to bring them out into the daylight. I think you will ultimately be amazed at yourself and your ability to overcome this problem if you face it head-on. I won't claim that all of your former feelings will vanish. That isn't realistic. What will change is how you react to those feelings. Those of us who have ex-wives and ex-husbands whom, for various reasons, we still must see from time to time have had to learn how to deal with this. So I know it can be done.

In the end you must ask yourself why you are allowing this person to dictate how you conduct your life. Who is in charge here?

Good luck! And I hope that welcoming you back is not too premature.