Hey Mudshark, New to the cafe and forum. Would strongly advise you to move on as it seems as though your needs aren't being met within the framework of your marriage. And I don't mean need in the needy sense, but are your efforts appreciated and does your spouse verbalize it? Do you do the same? It seems in marriage as in any endeavor you have to genuinely like the person(s) you live/work with. You have to be ruthlessly honest w/yourself and ask what attracted you to her in the first place? Do you feel safe or threatened in your home? I don't mean physically I mean emotionally? If you weren't married would you hang out w/her or her children? Is there any common ground? I would encourage you to find a place to stay w/a trusted friend until you get a place to live on your own. Sometimes it's just a matter of being comfortable with the level of not being happy and resigning ones self, which is why many stay in situations in which they are unhappy, It's scarey to be alone, but then you've got room to move around, do your own laundry(not that you don't now), pick out your own curtains and eat what you want. It seems that you've never treated yourself well. Maybe I'm being a bit general, but you're entitled to fulfillment, at least and it truly doesn't sound like that's the case. Don't feel guilty, she's probably as miserable as you and it's obvious her children are. You all may breathe a huge sigh of relief if and/or when you take the step. I read almost all of the comments contained herein and the reason I responded was that for the most part folks related and genuinely have tried to be helpful. You're not alone in this world just alone in your situation.